Rainy Days and Mondays (finale)

Prom night came, and I spent a couple of hours getting ready, which was odd for me. I normally got ready in a flash. Mother fixed my hair and make up. It was the first time I had ever worn make up, I had never thought I needed it. Not because I had wonderful self esteem, but because I found the whole ordeal of painting yourself up was a waste of time and pointless. I thought people looked better without it.

After I saw myself with make up, I started to wear it.

I got into the car with my small clutch purse that I had bought when I got my dress, and I took a deep breath. The clutch held my camera and my ticket to the prom and my cell phone. We drove off to go pick up Jacob.

Dad never once looked at my dress.

When we got to Jacob’s house, it was raining gently. He came out with an umbrella and helped me into his house so his mother and her boyfriend could see us together. His mother liked me a lot, and she took several pictures. Jacob gave me a lovely white corsage, and we stepped back out into the rain.

He opened my car door then walked around and climbed in himself beside of me. We both sat in the back, and mother drove us to the restaurant where we ate.

While we were at the restaurant eating- it was a buffet so we were there for a little while and ate quite a bit- while we were there, a group of elderly folk moved to the large, party table beside of our small table and began to talk amiably among themselves.

One couple in particular noticed us and smiled broadly, moving to us to talk. The man touched my shoulder and looked over knowingly to Jacob, “Ah, newlyweds?” He questioned with a toothy grin.

Jacob and I exchanged a look that fell somewhere in between confusion and embarrassment. He smiled back and shook his head, “No.”

Prom. I supplied with a nervous chuckle.

The man patted my bare shoulder and moved along with his smiling wife. The rest of our meal was rather boring. The conversation lingered about our families and random events of our lives. I don’t remember much about it quite frankly, except that Jacob mentioned his brother… a lot.

We got to the Country Club, and we were finally able to get out from under my mother’s watchful eyes. I have never felt more free than I did when I watched her car pull away. Jacob and I talked to a few friends at the front doors, then went inside to get our pictures made.

Robert and his new girlfriend sat at the same table with me and Jacob.

The tables were scattered at one end of the large room where the DJ was set up, and the other end was open for dancing. If you went from the tables to the dance floor then took a right, there was a bar directly in front of you, then another right would lead you into a sitting room with couches and chairs and a loveseat. The bar quite obviously did not serve us alcohol, though most of my friends wished it had.

Out of all of the tables they could have picked, they sat down with us. It was awkward, and Jacob and Robert’s girlfriend felt the strange, heavy vibes that were hovering about me and him. Robert and the girl left to take pictures, and I looked to Jacob.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

That was my ex. The one I told you about.

“Oh, I wish I had known that sooner.”

Jacob? I pleaded softly, shaking my head a little.

He laughed and lifted his hands in surrender. “I’ll be a good boy, don’t worry.”

And he was. We didn’t speak badly or ignore my ex and his new girl. In fact, we spoke pleasantly and took a picture of them together.

Then we danced.

I must admit, for the fast paced rap songs, I was lost and just stood with Jacob’s arms around my waist, watching the others. I gave in to the pleadings of my friends and tried to dance to one of the songs. I failed miserably, but it was fun to try, and the friend I was dancing with, who was female, danced just as poorly as I.

One of my closest friends, Annette and her boyfriend we naturals. They both swayed and rocked their hips to the music. She had told me before that dancing at prom was like clothed sex, and, watching the two of them, I understood what she meant. It was amazing to watch them, and soon others were joining in. Annette had always been a trend setter.

I danced the slow songs with Jacob.

I had been told that there were hardly any slow songs played at the junior prom, which I had not attended, and I had worried that I would not be able to dance at all. My worries were groundless, however, the DJ played several slow songs for the poor souls like me who could not ‘pop, lock, and drop it.’

It was like heaven.

The music drifting around us like clouds; the lights traveling soothingly about the floor and casting shades of blues, greens, and reds on our faces; the gentle, swaying motions; his arms around me; it was heaven. Pure heaven.

For the first time in my life, I understood what it meant to feel as if you were walking on air. It seemed to me that the ground had dropped away. Pink and white, fluffy clouds had replaced the dark floor, and a sunny, blue sky had taken the spot of the ceiling above us. There were no other dancers, only birds that sang the melodies and words that were drifting like sweet, nurturing lullabies into our ears.

We kissed.

For the first time, I was really kissed. His tongue slipped into my mouth, and mine responded.

Another, private dance occupied our attention, and then the kiss ended, and we fell back into our gentle swaying. After a few dances, we went into the sitting room and sat down on one of the couches.

I was nestled against him with his arm was around my shoulders. I rested my head against his shoulder and smiled a little, closing my eyes as he held me under the soft lights that brightened the area.

“Having a good time?”

Yes. I murmured contentedly. I opened my eyes and looked at him, smiling. He chuckled and leaned down as if to kiss my neck, but stopped.

“Vampire kiss.” He whispered.

The vampire kiss was a gesture of affection in an online game we both played. It involved one person biting the other person’s neck, just like a vampire. I smiled a little and, just like in the old vampire movies, I brushed the hair away and offered him my throat. He responded the way a vampire would, leaning down and nibbling my neck.

I knew then why so many girls were taken by vampires. It felt amazing. My heart felt as if it were going to explode, and I shivered a little in excitement.

Later on, just before we would break up, he would ask to literally taste my blood.

The rest of the night passed like a dream, and like dreams, it ended far too soon. I came home exhausted, but nearly dying with happiness. I thought that my troubles were over, and that I had finally found what I needed in a guy.

I went to bed thinking that one day, I would marry Jacob.


Of course it didn’t last.

Of course it all blew up in my face.

Of course I was not allowed to be happy.

Summer came. We graduated, and I hugged Jacob and kissed him as we went to our cars in our caps and gowns. I went on a small vacation with my mother, it was my graduation present, then came home to relax.

We went out a lot. He also had an instant messenger, so we spoke online as well, not to mention he called. I was suddenly getting a whole lot of attention, and I wasn’t quite sure if I liked it. Our favorite place for a date was behind a park in the woods. There was a large, smooth rock at the edge of these woods by a creek. Jacob carved our initials into one of the tree trunks.

We would lay together on the rock and kiss, nothing more, nothing less.

Until that one day.

It was just like any other park date. We stepped off of the paved trail and trekked off into the woods to our rock, pausing only to look at the markings he had made on the tree. We laid down on the rock like we always do, and true to routine, we began to kiss. This time was different.

This time, he shifted and flung one leg over mine and nearly laid himself on top of me. This made me a little nervous, because I couldn’t get up. I was mildly claustrophobic, and having no area of escape made me uneasy. I pushed the thoughts aside and concentrated on kissing him, forgetting everything else until I felt his hand slide up my shirt.

His hand went beneath my bra, and he proceeded to grope my breast. I stopped kissing him then and told him to stop. He continued as if he hadn’t heard me, and I was beginning to think that all males were deaf.

“I won’t hurt you,” He promised softly. “I love you, I’d never hurt you.”

Stop it, please.

“I won’t hurt you.” He repeated.

Stop.

He said nothing, and I fell quiet. Soon, he removed his hand and moved off of me. I sat up and pulled my cell phone from my pocket, glancing at the digital numbers. It was the time that saved me.

Dad’s expecting me back soon. I told him, standing up from the rock and starting away.

He shrugged and nodded and walked me to my car.

We broke up a week after that, and two used spoons and bowls, still marred with melted orange liquid, appeared in the sink for mother to wash.

I cried until I fell asleep. This is how I was able to sleep those next few days. Then a couple of months later, my other grandfather died. I kind of felt like Job, though I knew things had not gotten that bad. No, I was just dealing with life. This was normal, wasn’t it?

So, I began to piece back together the shattered fragments of my tortured heart, and on New Years Day, I resolved to never date again.

I was single through my first three years of college, and I had resigned myself to a life of being single and a virgin until I died.

It wasn’t so bad, after all. I could hang out with my female friends and flirt with my guy friends without the pressures of having a boyfriend. My guy friends didn’t like me, though I must admit I had a crush on one or two of them. They all loved Annette, who had become my new best friend. Naomi and I had had a fight, and we had stopped speaking. Annette had been there through it all, and me and her became as close as sisters.

I remember once when she and I were talking about our futures and what kind of husbands we would have. I told her that I could see her as a famous actress with a business man as a husband. They’d both make a great deal of money, obviously, and they would live in a big, ritzy mansion in New York or some other large city. She’d have two kids, a gothic, rebellious son, and an older, preppy daughter. Annette told me that that is exactly what she wanted, and I honestly told her I could see it happening. When she asked what I saw for myself, I responded that I could see myself in an two story, old farmhouse out in the country with a dog and a computer.

Yes, I was going to be alone, and I was beginning to feel it wouldn’t be so bad.

Then I met Abel.


Abel was tall, slightly pale, black haired and blue eyed, and had just the right amount of muscles. He wasn’t bulky, and he wasn’t skinny. He was perfection in human form. I had dreamed once that I had a guardian angel, and in the dream, that angel had looked just like Abel.

When I saw him, he took my breath away. I nearly leapt out of my seat and yelled at him from across the room that he was my angel and mine alone. Turned out that I didn’t need to do that at all. He had seen me around the college even though I hadn’t seen him before, and we soon started to talk to each other.

We seemed to click right off the bat, and we soon were dating.

Days became weeks, weeks turned to months, and months to a year. We were inseparable. After a happy year together, I felt secure and safe in the belief that he was really the one. I could imagine no other. He never touched me in a disrespectful way, he held open doors, he pulled out chairs, he was a singer, and he wrote songs for me. Everything was like a dream.

I let my guard down, and I let myself fall madly in love with him.

As we grew closer, I started to bring him along when I went out with my friends to see what they thought of him. Annette and him immediately became friends, and exchanged numbers. They talked and hung out almost as much as me and him did, and all of us together were the happiest group there ever was.

Then it happened.

It was a normal Friday night at the mall with Annette, Abel hadn’t been able to come because he was babysitting his younger sister while his parents went out for their anniversary. I had offered to stay with him and little Kristen, but he had told me to go ahead and go out with Annette and to have a good time.

Annette and I were sitting in the food court, finishing up our pizza when she sighed softly and sadly. I glanced up at her, immediately concerned about her. She was always so wild and energetic, hearing her sigh like that was strange, and I immediately knew something was wrong.

Annette? Is everything okay?

“Hm? Oh, yeah.”

You’re not fooling me, something’s wrong. What is it?

“Its nothing.”

Annette! I’m your best friend, tell me. Please?

“I don’t want you to get mad at me.”

Why would I get mad?

“Leslie…”

Annette, you can tell me anything. I promise, I won’t get mad.

She used my full name. Now I was really nervous.

“Leslie, I think… I think I’m in love with Abel.”

Everything faded away, and in place of the open food court and Annette sitting in front of me with a blaring orange sherbet ad hanging behind her, in its place was Abel. It was as if I were watching one of those Lifetime movies, only I couldn’t change the channel or cut it off. I had to sit and watch helplessly as the memories rolled in front of my eyes like a montage.

How could I have not seen it before?

Those looks they shared. The casual touches, the smiles, the laughs, the hugs, even the occasional kiss on the cheek that I had brushed off. I might have missed it then, but I was sure seeing it all now. I felt my eyes beginning to burn as I was struck with a wretched epiphany.

“Leslie!”

I was brought back to the present, to Annette, and I blinked. It was all I could do not to burst into tears then and there.

“Is everything okay? I’m sorry, this is why I didn’t want to say anything.” She murmured guiltily.

No, I’m fine! I just felt a little dizzy. I always get that way during my period.

I lied. I hadn’t even started my period that month, but a small lie was the least of my worries. God would forgive me. He would understand.

In fact, Annette. I’m feeling kind of sick. I think I should call it a night.

“Oh, that’s fine!” She said nodding. “Are you sure it wasn’t because of what I said?”

I promise! Don’t be silly! I laughed, though to this day I really don’t know how I managed it.

“Okay, well. I think I’m going to hang out here for a little while, is that okay?”

Don’t you need a ride home? I said with a frown. After all, I had driven her up there.

“Nah, its okay. I can get a ride. You just go home and feel better! Get some ice cream, maybe that’ll help.”

I felt like I was going to vomit.

I went home to our apartment alone that night.


Me and Annette had only just finished moving in. It had always been our plan that once we were able to support ourselves financially, we would get an apartment together.

That night, though, I wished I was living alone. I even went so far as to toy with the idea of going back home for the night. I quickly chased that thought away.

I went home that night alone. I took off my clothes and pulled on my Snoopy pajama pants and a tank top. Then, I crawled into my bed and stared at the ceiling until I fell asleep.


We had been dating for a year and a half when he made the phone call that dreary Sunday and asked me to meet him at the old Fisherman Park that night. He said he had something to talk to me about.

It had been raining that afternoon, the grass was still damp, but the air was warm. The moon was full and beautiful, and the stars were winking at me as they whispered secrets to one another. I was wearing faded American Eagle blue jeans and a black, zip up hooded sweatshirt that I had purposefully gotten in a size or two too big. I liked them to fit big. My blonde hair was hanging in waves against my shoulders. My dark, brown eyes were fixed on the sky.

As I walked beneath one of the trees in the abandoned, old park, it sprinkled raindrops on my face. They ran down like tears across my cheeks.

I found him sitting on a picnic table in the middle of the park, and I stopped. He hadn’t seen me yet, and I wanted to prolong the dreadful conversation for as long as I could.

I let my eyes wonder numbly over the rusted merry-go-round and the forlorn slide. Gray puddles had formed in the sandbox, and the swings were eerily swinging to and fro without occupants.

“Leslie?”

I looked up, but I did not move. He walked to me, that beautiful smile brightening his face so that he seemed to shine like the very stars above us.

He truly was an angel.

I felt like dying.

Hey, Abel.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

Yeah, just… what did you want to talk to me about?

The small box in his hand answered that for me. I began to sob as he knelt down and opened the box, the ring glistening in the dim light.

“Leslie, will you marry me?”

I couldn’t breathe.

I pulled my hand away from his and took a step back, murmuring my answer softly.

“What?”

No. I repeated through my tears.

He dropped his hands to his lap and sat back on his heels, ignoring the fact that his pants were getting soaked through from the grass. “Leslie… I don’t understand.”

Yes, you do. What about Annette, Abel?

He froze and dropped his eyes. “What about her?”

You love her don’t you?

My voice was trembling, and I couldn’t stop the tears. Oh, God. I thought to myself. Why did You create the heart? Why did You allow such pain? Why couldn’t this just be a dream?

“I love you…”

I’m not blind, Abel.

“I love you both, Leslie… what am I supposed to do?”

His words shattered me, and I felt a physical pain tear through my chest as I fought back another sob.

Go out with her.

“What?” He stood up and walked over to me.

I want you to go out with her for a little while without me around. Don’t talk to me or have any contact with me for… a week, and you both go out. If after that week, you still want to marry me, then call me.

“Leslie…”

I forced a smile.

I love you, Abel, and I love Annette. I want you both to be happy. I don’t want you to settle for me if you love her more.

He tilted my face up and kissed me. My whole body was shaking when he pulled away, and I watched him as he walked away.

I stood in the park until I couldn’t hear the hum of his car anymore. Then, and only then, did I go back to my car and drive back to the apartment.


The next call I got from Abel was to announce his and Annette’s engagement.

The months of preparation passed by in a hazy blur.

I was a bridesmaid at the wedding, and I smiled and congratulated them like a good friend should. I could see in Abel’s eyes a happiness and love that I had never been able to spark in him, and Annette was indescribable. She cried, she laughed, she never let go of Abel. I immediately knew that I had done the right thing, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Annette moved out of the apartment, and I was left alone.

It all brought me to this point, me sitting on the couch crying in my apartment while my orange sherbet ice cream sat contentedly in its container in the freezer. I looked up and glanced to the portrait on my entertainment center in a shelf above my television. It was picture of Annette, Abel, and their kid.

It had been about a year or two since they had been married. Abel had gone into business, and Annette had been discovered on her and Abel’s honeymoon. She was now filming in Australia for her role in a new adventure movie. She had a little girl resting in her arms in the picture. That girl was named Paige, and she, even as a baby, was wearing designer clothes. I had just gotten a call that week. Annette was pregnant again, and it was a boy.

When she wasn’t filming, Annette and Abel and their gorgeous little girl lived in a huge house in New York.

So, Annette had gotten what she wanted. What I had predicted she would get.

As for me, a month after that cold, lonely, rainy night, I moved into an old, two story farmhouse. Abel bought me a collie as a house warming gift.

I named her Faith. I got my career as a librarian, and I am currently finishing my first novel.

That night though, sitting alone on the couch and staring at the picture of Annette and her family, I made a decision.

I stood up and walked into the kitchen, opening the freezer door and grabbing the ice cream.

The next morning the orange sherbet lay in the trash can.